To get further information about your team, I took the liberty of calling Coach Dave. I figured since the team name is 'Sluggers', I asked coach Dave for info on each and every individual 'Slug'. As I was recovering from the ringing sound buzzing through my head caused by the receiver being slammed down, I pondered how all you guys got together to play on a softball team called the 'Sluggards'? I guess the prison system is really overcrowded and most of you guys got out early.... I thought ex-cons weren't supposed to hang out together while on parole!

Anyway, I suppose this 'Strugglers' softball team must be quite the envy of the Petaluma 'over 40' league. With softball stars of such great stature on your team, you could beat anybody! I hope Coach Dave has stepped up on your behalf to argue the unfair segregation that the Petaluma Parks and Rec has put upon the 'Smugglers'. Just because you're in your 40's and 50's doesn't mean the Petaluma Parks and Wreck can segregate you based upon a team's collective IQ.

Actually, Coach Dave was my teamate for exactly one game. That was the annual "Umpires vs a coed team because a regular men's team would crush the umpires like worms" game in Larkspur in 1994.... It was the very last softball game that I ever played in and Gerry Steppler had the honor of 'ringing me up' on my very last at bat, a bang-bang play at first base that wiped out what would've been a perfect 4-4 game to end my brilliant career.... But hey, that was a long time ago, and I'm over it. Uh, by the way Steppler. I beat the throw.... I'm just deceptively slow.

Come to think of it, Coach Dave and I teamed together as umpires in a few high school girls softball games. Dave umped the bases while I did the 'dirty work' behind the plate, leaning over the behinds of 16 year old nymphettes while calling balls and strikes. Gotta admit Dave was right there for me to 'break it up' when the catcher from Novato High spun around and slapped my face. (Steppler probably would've thrown me out of the game, what a putz!.... I really was safe, y'know).

Anyway, back to my phone conversation with Coach Dave. As an author of renown (Yes, some softball players have a life beyond the foul lines. You can log onto Amazon.com , or any major online bookstore, type in my name, (Gwynn Williams) and you'll find my book; "Tales From the Far Side of God's Kingdom") Dave thought it would be nice if I wrote about some exploits of former teamates of the past. Of course, being a professional writer, money was exchanged for my expertise and input. (Coach Dave assured me the money would be used for team equipment). Maybe the players mentioned in this story weren't all there at the same time, and my memory is a bit fuzzy, but once upon a time....

MANY years before a B-2 bomber was even a 'twinkle' in Uncle Sam's eye, there was a team of all-stars taken from various teams in the Petaluma 'B-2' league, ironically called the "B-2 Bombers". According to my old scorebook, there actually was a softball tournament held at the Napa State Mental Hospital ballfield during the final weekend of August, 1980. Pasted across the top of my old scorebook is a headline from the following morning's "The Napa Nuthouse News".

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